i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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