The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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