I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
This house was built for laser tag.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
