Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
