i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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