there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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