so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
