Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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