this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
