he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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