Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
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He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
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I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
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