When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
