I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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