Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he laminated a picture of his dick.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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