I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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