For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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