i need an iv and a liver transplant
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
So much rum. So many feels.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Randomize
