you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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