i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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