clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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