vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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