Don't make out with my wife yet
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
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I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
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WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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