Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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