You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
