i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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