Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
