Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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