I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
