I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.