You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
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It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
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We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone