Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?