yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
