On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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