Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
