in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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