We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
