U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
