the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
May the power of my ass compel you!!
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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