Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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