nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
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