First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
whose parrot is this?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
