I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Dicks are not precious.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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