I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize