How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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