he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Dear god my vagina.
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