Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
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