Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I didn't notice because vodka
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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