there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
