she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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