the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
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I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
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The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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