I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize