Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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