good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
