I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
