Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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