Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
