The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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